出典: 究極の八百科事典『ウソペディア』

English (Ja:英語(eigo)) is the most widely spoken language on Earth, according to Americans.

About[編集 | hide | hide all]

English is a language originally spoken in Britain, then spread to the US, India, and so on. It is said that English is spoken by more than half of the population on Earth, either as their mother tongue, or as their second language[citation-needed].

How English became so popular[編集 | hide]

Losing its complexity[編集 | hide]

English, in the ancient days, used to be one of the purely Germanic Languages, of the Indo-European Family. However, during the middle age, it was affected by the invasions of the Vikings and the Norman-French to the Island of Great Britain. Through these invasions, English lost most of its grammatical complexity, such as genders, forms[1], and the conjugation of verbs[2], and their vocabularies became more alike with French[3].

Its vocabularies were also affected by Latin and Greek, during the Renaissance, and made it easier even for fools to speak English[4].

[編集 | hide]

During the modern age, the United Kingdom became the Hegemonic State[5], and with its national power, it invaded Canada, US, India, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Egypt, Hong Kong, and so on.

This made English widespread among the globe, but still French was regarded as the Intenational Language during the 19th century[6].

Although British people believe that their power made English global as it is today, the fact is that it was the Americans who made it so. The power of the US upon the globe became so powerful that people use tools and services from the US, such as Fakebook and Twitter, and people enjoy Hollywood films. Now they are so Americanized that some fools even say they speak American.

Even the Koreans, people from the other side of the globe, speak fluent English today, thanks to their early education. However, the Japanese, still mistakenly believing that they are "Number One", doesn't care to speak English, and stick to Japanese of Engrish, the worst pseudo-dialect of English on globe.

The foreseen downfall[編集 | hide]

Since Djaina is gaining more power and the Americans are building a yuge wall at the southern border, and even the President speaks terrible English today, some experts say that English will no longer be spoken globally in the end of this century[citation-needed].

English language literature[編集 | hide]

The English have been writing things down for over 1,000 years, but literature in the English language didn't really take off until England invaded America and Ireland. Historically, English's greatest writers were understood to be Oscar Wilde and Francis E. Dec. James Joyce was pretty popular, too. Shakespeare? Chauser? Who the heck are they? These authors all used a lot of words, but in 2005, a writer known only as wrote "Fisher Price", a masterpiece containing ONLY FOUR WORDS!

See Also[編集 | hide]

Footnotes[編集 | hide]

  1. German, on the other hand, still has four forms for both singular and plural forms (that is, 8 different forms). Note that English still distinguishes singular and plural forms, while Japanese doesn't.
  2. Most of the other Indo-European Languages have dozens of different conjugated forms for each verb (that is: person × tense × mode + participles (+gerund)), while English only has 5 (except for "be").
  3. Ex. second (English), second(e) (French) / zweite (German).
  4. You know, it is like, you can speak at least one English word, if you know the word "SUSHI," lol.
  5. Partly because of the Industrial Revolution, but mostly because of the downfall and chaos of France during the French Revolution and the First Empire. How lucky Queen Victoria was!
  6. Note that French could be seen in Russian Literature those days, or that the official language of the Olympic games is French.